Penis Girth Matters

• What You Need To Know
• Contrary to popular belief, it's not penis length that counts; it's girth.
• A wider penis is in a better position to touch the pleasurable-feeling nerves.
• Use a slight circular motion as you thrust.

"So, the more surface area you have contact with at any one time, the more exciting signals you’ll have traveling through that nerve."

How many times have you heard women say that penis size doesn’t matter? Or that when it comes to a guy’s penis, it’s not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean? Well, I have good news, bad news and more good news. It’s true that the length of a man’s penis isn’t a big deal to most women; in fact, the typical vagina is only about four inches long when aroused, while the average penis is about five to six inches long when erect -- so you do the math. Alternatively, penis girth (or width) can make a difference. Worried that you don’t measure up? I have tips and tricks to help you take your sex life from “meh” to “wow”!

The Pink Pearl

First, let's talk about the clitoris. Most people are familiar with the little pink pearl that sits at the top of the labia. It is extremely sensitive and is covered by a little hood of skin that is actually where the tops of the labia come together. But there is much more to the clitoris than just what you can see and feel. The entire clitoris is shaped like an upside down “V.” Its legs (crura) extend down and under the pubic bone, and it also has extensions that follow along each side of the vaginal opening, called the vestibular bulbs. The entire clitoris is made up of spongy tissue that fills with blood when a woman gets aroused. As Dr. Emily Nagoski discusses in the Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms , “Averaging just one-eighth the size of a penis yet loaded with nearly double the nerve endings, it is the only human organ with no function other than pleasure.”

The Power Of Penis Girth

A wide penis puts more pressure on the vestibular bulbs, which gives a pleasurable feeling of fullness at the vaginal opening. Some researchers have commented that this feeling of fullness is psychologically pleasing as well. A wide penis also creates more tension on the labia, which, in turn, causes more tugging and movement at the hood covering the clitoris. This adds stimulation to the clitoris in addition to the surrounding tissues. The pudendal nerve supplies the entire vulva, including the labia, clitoris and the lower third of the vagina. So, the more surface area you have contact with at any one time, the more exciting signals you’ll have traveling through that nerve. A wide penis can do just that.

Now, the average erect penis is about four inches in circumference (I’ll pause here to let you get that tape measure). But all men can use certain techniques to give a woman the feeling of a wider penis. First, use a slight circular motion as you thrust. This way, the shaft of the penis pushes more against the sides of the vaginal opening, giving the woman that extra pressure and tension. You can also choose an angle of entry that allows you to put more pressure on the fourchette, the area below the vaginal opening where the labia end in a little "V." This will also tug the labia a little more and stretch her pelvic muscles. Feeling creative? Try working in extra fingers or using a penile sleeve. 

So that's the skinny on penis girth, guys. Remember, regardless of how you measure up, you can still pleasure women!

She Comes A Lot, Anal Sex & More

she comes a lot Hi Dr. Chaves,
I’m dating a girl who has a lot of orgasms when we have sex. I mean, she’s moaning and squirming every time I touch her. I know I’m good at what I do, but I keep hearing other guys talk about not being able to get their girls off. What’s up with that? It’s so easy to give orgasms.

Derek, G., Madison, Wi
With sex, sometimes we stroke other things besides our penis; in this case, our ego. Although I’m sure you’re a great lover, this might be more about her sexual functioning and less about your skills. It’s likely she is extra sensitive, gets aroused quickly and has high orgasm potential.

Every woman is different and each has a unique orgasmic ability. There are women who can orgasm from having their hair combed, their eyebrows stroked, their necks kissed, and through squeezing their thighs together. There are also woman who have psychological or physiological reasons that block their ability to climax.

Just like it can make us feel bad if our partner doesn’t orgasm, it makes us feel great when they do. I’d say never get too high or too low with sex and self-judgment with performance. Enjoy and appreciate her sensitivity and sexual responsiveness, but don’t let it go to your head. Women love confidence, but cockiness isn’t very high on the list.

shooting blanks Hi Doctor,
Recently, when I’ve had an orgasm, nothing is coming out. I use to shoot big loads, but now little or nothing is coming out. Nothing hurts and I still get hard-ons, but it’s making me worried that this is still going on after a few weeks. Is this about my diet? What is it?

Paul D., Carson City, NV
I don’t know of any diets that make come disappear. Who would ever do that diet anyways? This sounds a lot like a medical issue called retrograde ejaculation, where your ejaculate is going into your bladder instead of out your urethral opening. You’re going to need a penis check by a doctor. I’ve seen more and more of this with people using antidepressants, psychotropics and other medications. Did you recently start new meds?

Regardless, get your butt to a doctor because this could affect fertility, could be a sign of diabetes, or a sign of testicular or prostate trouble. At least you’re saving money on tissues and cleaning sticky socks.

rear-ended Hello Dr. Chaves,
My girlfriend and I just started having anal sex. We did it the first time really drunk and I loved how tight it felt. I’m not saying she’s loose or anything, but it felt really snug in there. But ever since our first time, we haven’t been able to redo that great experience again. She says it’s really painful and stings inside her now, where as the first time she said it felt great. Do you have any suggestions? I want to do it more with her but don’t want to hurt her either.

EM., San Antonio, TX
Ah, another one falls under the spell of booty sex. Did you know that almost 40% of couples are trying anal sex these days? It’s almost the majority. You’re question gave some important information to me.

First, don’t try new sex behaviors when you’re drunk. I know we’re more daring and adventurous, but our senses are dulled, we’re less in control and our pain threshold changes. My guess is your drunken girlfriend couldn’t feel if anal was hurting or not.

I’m going to assume you’re using a lot of lube, right? With her feeling some stinging and pain now, it sounds like there might be some rectal issues, like tears or inflammation. Those things can happen with anal sex and going number two. I also wonder if she’s had any rectum issues in the past, like hemorrhoids.

Get the “end” of this answer and figure out if transsexual turn-ons are weird…
You have a few options. You can stay away from her butt, give her time to heal, and try anal sex again and/or she can see a doctor to get a more thorough exam. Either way, remember that  anal sex should be pleasurable, never painful -- unless it’s that good kind of pain, like a good spanking or pull of the hair.

catching HIV Hi Doc,
Quick question, how easy or hard is it to catch HIV?

Larry, New York, NY
That’s an easy and hard answer. It depends on a number of factors including how many sex partners you’ve had, what risky behaviors you engage in and if you’re using condoms. One research study estimated that men have a 1/500 chance and women have a 1/250 chance of contracting HIV. Of course, those numbers change depending on the behavior (oral, vaginal, anal), if you have an STI already (increases the chance of HIV transmission), what type of exposure to bodily fluids, previous vaginal/anal tearing, your immune health, the infected partners viral load, etc.

What if you use a condom? It’s estimated the chances of contracting HIV is 1/500,000,000 if you use the rubber correctly. I’m no math whiz, but I love those zeros! I know people who have contracted HIV after losing their virginity to their first sex partner and HIV-negative escorts who’ve had hundreds of sex partners. Condoms work, people.

transfixed by trannies Hello,
I was surfing the information superhighway and streaming some porn clips and I saw my first shemale porno. I have to say, it was kind of cool, but I felt weird at the same time. I felt a little gay while watching it. I know I’m not gay, but it didn’t feel right. But I was really turned on. I’m confused. I guess I don’t really have a question, more so wanted to ask your opinion about this.

Anonymous
Sometimes, when we discover a turn-on that isn’t on mainstream culture’s list of acceptable sexual expression, it can feel different, even shameful. I can read the confusion in your words. Why do we feel the need to suppress our desires, our attractions, just to fit in or please the people around us? Shemale porn, or transsexual erotica, is a perfect example of this.

You’re not weird; you’re lucky because you found something that turns you on. The majority of people die without ever discovering certain turn-ons because they spend their lifetimes fighting or suppressing them. As for the gay reference, I never understood that one. I’ve seen trans porn plenty of times. I think a male-to-female transsexual (MTF) and a female having sex is cool to check out.

A friend once said that was really gay. My answer: A person watches heterosexual porn with a guy and girl. One person is feminine and the other is masculine. The guy usually has muscles and looks pretty manly, like a dude. But when a person watches an MTF transsexual and a girl having sex, it’s two people with mostly feminine bodies. Both examples have a penis involved, but in MTF-female porn there are four female breasts, only two in heterosexual porn. There are also two female hourglass figures and four female-looking butt cheeks. It’s like two females using a strap on. Well, except the strap on dildo is real in this case. If you really dissect it, there can be more on-camera masculinity in heterosexual male-female porn than in MTF-female porn.

Not a perfect argument, but the friend changed his mind and said it wasn’t gay, but it’s still weird to him. Hey, it’s progress! (I hate the term “weird.” I much prefer different or unique.) It’s not easy embracing your turn-ons that society doesn’t agree with, but it can be empowering and sexually satisfying. Good luck!

How To Find The G-Spot And More

Hey,For as long as I can remember, I seem to be more turned on by average-looking women than beautiful women. I'm not saying that I get turned on by women that are not the least bit attractive. For lack of a better way of expressing it, if a woman that is a "10" and another that is a "six" walk into the room together and both are willing to have sex with me, I would pick the six. I've never understood this about myself. I am completely aware that the women I choose to sleep with are usually fives or sixes even if there is a 10 standing next to them that is equally willing. What could possibly be the reason for this?
Thanks,
Eric from Boston, MAHere’s the plan: You take the average five, and I’ll take the perfect 10. Everybody wins, right? In reality, numbers are better suited for math classes and accountants than for women. There is an infinite number of possibilities that may have contributed to your attraction to certain types of females. It’s not much different than men who describe being attracted to women who are taller, shorter, heavier, thinner, or who have other specific characteristics that arouse the male senses.
Our attraction is complex, and there are numerous factors that influence what catches our eye. Maybe it was the crush on the average-looking babysitter or the perfect 10 girlfriend who broke your heart that helped shape your attraction. Could it be a defense mechanism against rejection or a way to cope with fears or insecurity? It would take a lot of time and exploration, and even then we may not find the answers you’re looking for. Maybe asking “why” is less important than asking “how” you feel about it.
If you have no anxiety or ambivalent feelings, then go with it. Embrace who you are and make the most of the opportunities that present themselves. Love and happiness are blind to things like numbers.
find her g-spot
Hi Doc,I've only had sexual experience with one girl, and she has only had me. While clitoral orgasms have never been a problem, I have had a question about the G-spot. Penile penetration does not provide the desired response. I have not been able to find her G-spot, and she has failed to locate it unilaterally. Now, I have digitally penetrated her a couple of times, and both times, after awhile, she has made me stop so she can go pee. Allegedly, urination did take place. Is that all it was, or should I next time encourage a release? Is it just urinary, or orgasmic in nature?
Thanks for your help, Doc.
AJ from NYIt sounds like you both are having a great time walking down the path of sexual exploration, and it’s great to hear you’re trying different methods. But let’s backtrack for a second in regards to the G-spot. Sometimes the pressure of searching creates performance anxiety, so make sure you both talk about how you feel during this search. Keep it fun, light and easy.
When engaging in G-spot play, one of the most common occurrences is the feeling of having to urinate when pressure is applied to the G-spot. How can you blame the body? The G-spot, urethra and bladder are all close neighbors in the same anatomical neighborhood. Many women have reported this feeling, especially near the onset of orgasm, as pressure is placed on the urethra and bladder. It’s recommended that a woman urinate before sexual interaction to empty the bladder and prevent the accidental urinary release, however unlikely that may be.
The G-spot is located about an inch inside the upper wall of the vagina and has a unique, rough texture that feels different than the rest of the vaginal muscle. It can be located with your finger or by using a speculum sideways while inside the vagina. If you want more detailed tips on locating and stimulating the G-spot, I suggest buying Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to the G-Spot (www.puckerup.com).
In addition to a great curved G-spot toy, a few fingering techniques include the classic two-finger "come hither" motion, the two-finger side-to-side windshield wiper, and the two-finger twisting corkscrew. Good positions for G-spot stimulation include missionary style with a pillow propped beneath her back/pelvis (accentuates G-spot stimulation) as well as doggy style with her head lowered and the male entering from a high-to-low angle.
she gets fisted
Hello,While cruising through a free porn tube site, I came across a video called “she gets fisted.” I didn’t click on it nor did I watch it. There’s no way this is real or common, is it? What do you know about fisting?
While some women prefer a finger or two inside their vagina, other vaginas enjoy a bit more to feel snug as a bug. Fisting is an alternative behavior practiced by a small minority, where a hand and sometimes more enters the vagina and/or rectum of a person. The fact is, those who engage in fisting (both males and females) do it because it turns them on and it feels pleasurable.
I know it may be tough to imagine, but we all have our own versions of what feels good and what we like to get us off. Vaginas and rectums have the ability to stretch and accommodate more than we realize, and our bodies have the capability to return back to their prestretching state after a fisting session. Of course, as with many extreme sex practices, there are risks and necessary safety precautions that should be understood before engaging in this behavior.
Basically, learn the practice and find a mentor to gain experience if it interests you. If you don’t know what Crisco is used for, what a duck-billed entry is or what lubes to use, it’s probably best to stick to fisting porn than the real thing.

How To Break Up with her

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• What You Need To Know
• Don't be a chicken and try to get her to break up with you -- she won't.
• If you realize you don't love her and she loves you, end it.
• The longer you stay, the worse it becomes.

"You have to figure out how to break up with a woman who's in love with you."

In all of my years having been through so many different kinds of relationships, there’s one cardinal lesson I’ve learned about when they come to an end: Don’t be passive about breaking up with her.

Most guys will at some point come across a dead-end relationship. He is ready for it to be over, ready to be free and single again, but she is still content in the relationship and committed to keeping it going. When his love for her fizzles out, a lot of guys will get into the following situation: He realizes that he doesn’t love her the same way that she loves him, and so he does anything he possibly can to get her to break up with him. He spends more and more of his time with his friends or at work instead of with her. His conversations with her become distant and emotionless. He complains about her incessantly. He becomes argumentative and purposely instigates fights with her. But this can be a slow and painful journey, because when a woman is in love, she tends to be stubborn and will do whatever she can to keep the relationship alive. Trying to get her to break up with you is the chicken way out and will just lead to complications. So learn how to break up with her.

I have to admit, what I'm about to write is very personal to me because I've been down this road so many times before.

You've met the girl you think is the perfect woman. She's perfect in so many ways, yet there's just something missing. Maybe you're not head-over-heels attracted to her, even though she's very beautiful. There's something that's just not right; it doesn’t click in the way that you want it to click. You can't figure it out, but you still think to yourself, "God she's great. She's fantastic. She treats me really well." And, after some time, you fall in love with her. But you're not head-over-heels in love. At the same time, however, she really starts to fall head-over-heels in love with you. She thinks you're so great that she wants to build a life with you.  

On paper, everything may look great, but you know that something is missing. It's almost like you can't put it into words or explain it to anybody because whenever you do, everybody tells you how amazing this woman is for you. All of your single friends tell you that they’d love to meet somebody that great. You agree with them but feel that there needs to be something more -- just something that feels more right.  

And so you're faced with one of the toughest decisions you'll ever have to make. You have to figure out how to break up with a woman who's in love with you. You go through the angst, the guilt. She’s treated you so well and given you so much that you don't want to hurt her. She’s not going to understand that you just need to be single again, and that you don't want to see anybody.  

You care about her so much that you don't want to see her get hurt if you end the relationship. But the truth of the matter is that you're actually hurting her a lot more by staying in the relationship. As you stay in the relationship hoping that it will die out or hoping that she will eventually break up with you, she is staying in the relationship hoping that you'll eventually turn the corner and love her back.

Here's how to break up with her gently...